Category Archives: Humour

The Great Indian LitterBug

Yes, I reached safely.. yes, yes, yes. I am so happy that I have managed to reach this party without a single spot on my dress. I remember last incidence when I was a novice driver and didn’t know the actual rules of going out on Indian roads and got the stain of banarasi pan on my new dress. I was thinking it’s enough to know traffic rules, but there are some other rules also that every Indian should know, Whether you are not driving or sitting behind or walking on the street or travelling on public transport, the moment you are out of your home war is on.

Rule no#1 – If you are passing from a lane that have few balconies then be careful any moment you can get a shower or anything unwanted can land on your head. So, it’s better to avoid that path or wear a helmet because the person who is throwing out the things from the balcony will not think about you but it’s your responsibility to save yourself.

Rule no# 2 – If you are going on a two wheeler then it’s better to keep a distance from the vehicles going by side wards. Yes, as per traffic rules it will avoid accidents (anyways accident happens more to them who follow traffic rules) but it will surely save you from the person who can probably spit on you as you are coming in between him and road so it’s your fault.

Rule No# 3 – If any four wheeler is coming from behind please, please give them side and maintain a safe a distance from it. Again, you are thinking about traffic rules no buddy it’s for your safety. The moment they bought four wheeler they owned the road as well, they can put loud music or throw waste from window after all they have more money than you (that’s why you are on the two wheeler). So it’s your responsibility to save yourself and when you will buy four wheeler you will do the same thing.

Well, there are other rules also but we will discuss them later. Let’s get back to my story, I wanted to attend the marriage party of my friend and I was already late, could not change the dress on marriage venue. So I have decided to take the risk of changing the dress at home and then driving. Thanks to all gyaan that I have got from my previous experiences, I reached safely. Yippy, I am so happy feeling like a winner. Now it’s time to get in. Someone is washing the floor, why he is the washing floor now, when the guests has already started arriving. I will wait and let him complete. He has completed the washing now, time to get in… a..n..d oh no he threw the waste water on me.. Oh god my dress is gone.. Well rules are not applicable for Indian roads only.. stupid me 😦

This post is written for The Great Indian Litterbug  http://greatindian.timesofindia.com/

Advertisements

Lies Leads To Confusion

My roommate Mitali was in love with Shyam. We all belong to the same place Mandla, but Shyam’s parents shifted to Jabalpur. Mitali’s parents were very strict. They didn’t like Mitali’s relationship with Shyam. On the other hand my mother was always very cool and friendly with me, I share all secrets of mine with her. I told her about Mitali’s relationship and the problems that she was facing at her home.

After our 3rd semester exam was ended, we (me and Mitali) decided to go home. We had only the option of bus to travel to Mandla. Semester break was a month long and Shyam was upset that he has to stay away from Mitali for a month. He decided to come with us to Mandla to drop Mitali but Mitali refused as it was very risky. He tried to convince her by saying,”I will back from the Mandla Bus stand only. Nobody will know about it”. I also said Ok, so Mitali said yes. When we reached Mandla, Mitali’s alight before me as her house arrived early . My home was nearby bus stand, thus me and Shyam alight at bus stand. It was cold December days so I offer Shyam to have tea at my home. After lots of convincing he said yes, but he put a condition that I should not reveal his identity to my mother. I told him that my mother is cool, but he didn’t listen. We arrived home and my mother opened the door.

Me : “Hi Mom.. This is Rahul and we are classmate.”

(I lied as I promised to Shyam)

Shyam : “Namaste Aunty. It was late so I thought I should drop her home”.

Mother : “Namaste Beta.. Its ok but Vartika you never told about him”.

Me : “Actually I didn’t know he was also from Mandla. We met in Bus only”.

(My heartbeat was getting faster as I was not habitual to lying)

Mother : “Oh ok.. Come beta have tea”.

Mother brought us some tea

Mother : “So beta where do you stay in Mandla”.

Shyam : “Aunty, my father was shifted to Jabalpur two years. I came here to meet a friend”.

Me : “Come on Shyam.. have tea”.

Slip off my tongue and all finished

Mother : “Did you say Shyam? Is he Shyam? Mitali’s boyfriend?”

Shyam was shocked.. almost reached to coma. I was confused and thinking, “Now how will I manage this mess”.

Shyam : “Aunty, I have to rush.. Need to complete some urgent work”.

He gave me a scary looks and rushed quickly.

Mother : “Is he Rahul or Shyam? What’s going here?”

Me : “He is Shyam”.

I told her whole story.

She laughed and said,”Why did you lied?”

Me : “I had no option”.

I smiled and say thank you to god for giving me such a wonderful mother.

This post written for Kinley 2014 TVC

Impact Of Daily Soaps In Our Life

tangytuesdayEvening time 7.30 on the clock, mother starts the TV and voice of a young boy came from inside the room “Mom, please slow down the volume of the TV. I can’t bear the sound of that crap”. After half an hour mother is watching her favorite serial “Balika Vadhu” and suddenly the phone rang. Again, the voice of son came from inside room “Mom your call, someone wants to talk to you”. Mother’s reply,”I am watching my favourite serial. So, please tell him to call later”.

Now heated discussion starts between son and mother

Son – “Mom, how can you watch this crap so seriously ?”

Mother – “My evening time is free and I want to relax. So, what’s wrong with this?”

Son – “You want to relax by watching this mental trauma. How can you feel relaxed by seeing others weeping?”

Mother – “Everyone has their own definition of relaxation. So, please don’t interfere”

Son – “Okay. What can I say about this?”

Discussion over..

I can bet this argument will happen in most of the houses and obviously mother will win the argument. But the impact of the serial is not over,after watching serial ladies discuss the points why that character behaves like this. Once I was unknowingly involved in this discussion between my mother and aunty(mausi)

Location – Kitchen of my aunt’s home

Aunty (with serious expression)- Mausiji is coming from Bengal then I am sure everything will be fine.

Mother (with more serious expression)- Yes, Mausiji is very smart. She will solve the problem.

Me (with Surprised expression) – Which problem you both are talking about and you have an aunty in Bengal. You never told me ?

Mothern (now amused) – I don’t have any relative in Bengal. We are talking about the serial.

Me (with Shocked expression) – What??

Worst of all is some youngsters also like to watch daily soaps and this become a serious problem as these serials are addictive and their studies suffers due to this. The people who can stop them are already victim of this disease. They are not realizing that quality time which can they spend together is wasted in TV serials.

After all this only one question came to my mind.. WHY?  Why these serials are so much popular?

Here are some points that came to my mind :

1. Lack of options : No other options are available on television. Ekta Kapoor has discovered that weak point of Indian audience (especially women) and started a trend 14 years ago. Other production houses had followed her as this is the best formula of making money. Money has taken over the conscience and nobody cares that the concept is good or bad until
money is coming out of it. People get free time around 8 to 10 to watch. They start watching the serials available there.

2. Idealistic old values : I remember an article based on Ekta Kapoor’s serial when it was started only (13 years ago) saying that “Ekta has brought back our Indian Ideologies. Celebrating every single festival on her shows give it Indian touch.” This is the reason people belongs to rural areas also like these shows a lot. Bahus belongs to these serials are not working, wearing vermilion, heavy sarees and jewellery make it complete Indian daughter in law (DIL). People love these things in fact sometimes they want their DIL to behave in the same way.

3. The Myth that serials are based on social issues : When “Balika Vadhu” was started on Colours channel 6 years back, it got the breakthrough success because of the new concept. But after 2 years serial lost its concept and become a usual Saas bahu show. I don’t think that the rate of child marriages has gone down because of this serial or any kind of revolution was started. People watch these kinds of serials and forget it immediately. So, another money making theory of producers.

4. Different way of showing fairy tales : Poor girl getting married to rich boy, almost all serials follow this format. The poor peoples of these serials are so poor that they can’t even afford school/College fees and rich people are so rich that Ambani’s feel low in front of them.

The conclusion of this article is that you can’t change our elder’s mentality and there is no point of arguing with them. But the younger generation (our generation) can avoid this crap. This is not only waste of time, but it will ruin your intellect. Look outside your idiot box, India has reached to the mars and you will surely get the things worth to explore.

dailysoap